


Rotations

by 13thSyndrome



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Grief/Mourning, JeanMarco Week, M/M, Trauma, raindrops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 19:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4317807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13thSyndrome/pseuds/13thSyndrome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've got a warped soul, and it's all thanks to you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rotations

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a very late Day 6 submission for JeanMarco Week 2015. (Can we even post things this late?) The prompts are between Raindrops and Summer Loving. I chose the Raindrops prompt.

The hot rain pricks my skin. It stings my eyes, and it floods my lungs. I breathe in the wet air of the storm and notice this is the first day of fall without you. 

I can't believe it, as I walk into the barracks. I find the box under my bed with your shirt inside. It still carries your scent. I cradle this old thing of yours, thinking you'll walk in calm and collected; thinking you'll run your hands through my hair and come as close as you can to kiss the swell of my cheek. 

No, no. I claw at my stomach. No, no.

What did you feel like? I can't remember it. 

What did you sound like? I can't recall.

I run back outside. My sense of touch has been worn down to the bone. It's the sort of pain that sears your mind. The raindrops fill me relentlessly. Numbing and painful, it consumes me. I ache. It hurts. Take it out! Take it out!

I pass out with it still inside me.

In my dreams, I'm at peace. You're there, and you smile at me. I count the steps we take, as you lead me into our old town. I'm so happy.

But then, you're gripping me by the arm, and my heels are digging painfully to stay behind. I yell at you to release me. You don't do this. Why are you doing this? I look down, confused, and I look up. 

Raindrops.

I realize that it was never you, pulling me into our old town. It was one of them, a fucking titan. 

I'm scared, and I'm trying to get away. My 3D gear is broken. Why? I just replaced it!

It drags me by the leg, and my back burns as I'm taken through fields and fields of weeds. They scratch at my red body. I'm being taken into the forest.

In a final fit of panic, I glance to the side of me, screaming for help. I see you and you're sitting. You don't pay me any attention. You're propped against my old house, and I'm angry at you for not responding.

But then, I'm quiet. You've been ripped in half, and the same will come to me. 

When I wake up, I don't cry and shake in my bed. It's a slow peeling of the eyelids, and for a moment, I wonder where you are. The realization hits me, repetitive as usual. 

I go outside again, and the sky is clearing up. Even as the sun comes and the plants grow, the animals feed. I know this cycle too well for what it has done to you. This first day of fall sticks in my soul, like a knife in the chest.


End file.
